12. The Frequency of Excellence

Today, we dive deep into the frequency of excellence and uncover how high performers often sabotage their own success in subtle, invisible ways. Learn how to break free from these patterns and elevate to the next level of excellence you desire.

In this episode, we begin with low-frequency examples to establish a baseline for understanding, then move into more nuanced examples at a high-performance level. Discover why the things we create are a reflection of the energy we create them from and how this impacts our relationships, business decisions, and overall success.

Key Topics Discussed:

• Understanding the frequency of excellence
• How past relationships reflect our inner state
• The pitfalls of creating from a place of powerlessness
• Navigating business decisions from a place of abundance
• Recognizing and overcoming justification stories
• The importance of self-mastery and self-realization

Join us as we uncover the secrets to mastering your energy and frequency, and transform your life from the inside out. If you're ready to elevate your experience and achieve true excellence, this episode is for you!

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Reality Shapers, welcome to this special conversation. Today we are going to be discussing the frequency of excellence and how high performers sometimes not sometimes often sabotage themselves in invisible ways from reaching the next level of excellence they can feel and desire to be at but can't reach or are restricted in some way. And I'm going to be starting by kind of talking about some more basic low frequency examples so that we can establish a baseline for understanding and then move into the more nuanced examples of how this affects us at a high performance level. And so the thing that we really have to understand which I talk about a lot is that whenever we're creating something, the thing that we're creating isn't actually the thing. It's a reflection of the energy that we created it from. Let me say that again, the thing that we're creating isn't actually the thing, it's a reflection of the energy that we created it from. And so I'll give you an example.

Speaker 1: 1:10

Let's say that someone had a relationship that ends and they look back and they go. Oh, my goodness, that was an abusive relationship. I felt so disempowered. I felt emotionally defeated. I felt like this person didn't value my needs. I feel like they really cut me down. Whatever, whatever, whatever. You see the visual.

Speaker 1: 1:37

So a lot of the times we will just look back on that situation and go, oh, that other person was bad. But the question is also okay, but how did I participate in that dynamic? And I'm not trying to blame anyone, that's not the intention here. But what we have to understand is that we're always participating in some way. There are very few events that happen in our life that we have absolutely no control over and no free will in the way that we're showing up and participating. So I can take examples from my own life of relationships that I had that were kind of like this when I was younger and go back and look and say, okay, well, yeah, this person was this and this and this and this, but who was I? As I approached this relationship, well, I had a feeling of powerlessness and I was really looking for someone to save me and to give me those things, to give me that feeling of safety, to give me that feeling of power, to give me that feeling of whatever right. And so what often happens is we find this person. They seem so great, we get into this situation. It's like really great in the beginning, and then the honeymoon phase wears off and we are now in this dynamic where this person is very critical. They're very cutting, they sort of like really reflect back to us. You know, either the flaws that are actually within ourselves or maybe just our greatest fears. And this feeling of powerlessness not only felt that caused us to seek a relationship would save us, actually led to a relationship that results in a deeper sense of powerlessness. See, what I'm saying is that we sought a relationship from this frequency and from this place of powerlessness, and then we find a relationship and, no matter what it looks like on the surface, it seemed really great. All the things they said, it doesn't matter. You created from that frequency of powerlessness, and so you found something that was a match and an amplification of that powerlessness.

Speaker 1: 3:36

Now we can look at examples of this in business. This happens a lot of the time. When I see this in business a lot where people will give power to a contractor or power to someone that they're hiring, and what I mean by that is, let's say, someone doesn't like marketing or doesn't like social media marketing. Well, they might go and feel like I hate this thing, I feel frustrated, I just I don't know what to do. There's this underlying feeling of powerlessness. And so they might find someone who you know they think is really great and they're. I'm just going to hire that person and they can deal with it and I'm not going to deal with it. I'm not going to have to deal with it anymore. This person is going to save me, alleviate me from having to deal with this social media and with this marketing.

Speaker 1: 4:25

But what happens very often is that we create a situation I see a lot of people in business who have experienced this where it just ends up creating more problems. Either maybe this person doesn't understand the voice and tone of their business, or maybe this person doesn't fully execute to their degree, or really, a lot of the times, what it is is because we were creating that professional relationship from a place of powerlessness. We actually don't lead the person right, because when we're a business owner, when we're a CEO, when we're a leader, we have to lead the people that we bring into our sphere, not the other way around, and we can listen to all the people that have specialities and that are of excellence, but it can't be that we're giving over the reins to our business or to our life, or whatever the thing is to someone else. So very often when I see people hire from a place of powerlessness or avoidance, it ends up really existing in the same kind of dynamic where it's actually just added fuel to the fire of the problem and not really solved it. We can also see this in business, when we give the power over to the client.

Speaker 1: 5:31

I give this example a lot where in business we might have the awareness that we have a dip in revenue and really, really need some sales and we might now feel this feeling of needing a sale, of needing money, of needing revenue right, and so that's a lack frequency. And we can look at well, what's the opposite of lack? Well, it's abundance, it's money right. So if I'm in lack, the thing that I need is money right, just like I'm in the frequency of powerlessness and the thing that I think that I need is the relationship right. Same thing I'm in the frequency of powerlessness and the thing that I think that I need is the relationship right. Same thing I'm in the frequency of lack and what I think that I need is money.

Speaker 1: 6:15

So very often we see this example in business, where people are in this frequency of lack, looking for clients, and a client comes along who's a match for the lack frequency, and they'll have something like maybe they can't afford your rate or they do things that normally you wouldn't let slide, like perhaps in the application process. You know that people that ask a lot of questions in a way that is very indicative that they're not confident in their decision to make this investment you would say no to. But because you're in this frequency of lack, you say yes. I see this a lot with my friends that are photographers. Sometimes they'll have a low season and they'll say yes to something and the client's kind of a pain in the beginning, but they're like well, I really need that money. And so they say yes, and so we have the illusion that this money is the solution to our lack. But it's not, because everything that we create is not the thing. It's a match and a representation of the frequency we created it from.

Speaker 1: 7:14

So when we create that business relationship or that client relationship from the frequency of lack, it can only bring us more lack, and that's why there are so many stories in these circumstances of when someone needs money. They find this nightmare client because they drop their standards, because they're in this frequency of lack, and so, through the path of least resistance, someone finds them. That's a match for that frequency. And this is where being able to navigate I call it navigating the contrast that the universe shows to you. The way that we navigate this and the level of consciousness we can hold as we're in these experiences will dictate whether we create entanglement with more of that lack frequency or if we create the dissonance where it's like this awareness of. I'm not a match for this and I'm not going to become entangled with people, places and situations that are a match for this frequency that I'm moving out of.

Speaker 1: 8:12

And so, as we move into this deeper understanding and higher level of consciousness around energy and energetics, we can recognize that it doesn't matter that we might appear to need money in the material, that if we allow ourselves to calibrate the frequency of lack and then make decisions business decisions, client relationship decisions from this frequency of lack, no matter if it brings us the appeasement of money in the moment, it will inevitably lead to situations and experiences that create more lack, because that is the universal law that is underlying this dynamic. And this is why I teach manifestation through self-mastery and self-realization, because what you're being, who you are the frequency that you are encoding yourself to is what you're going to create from. It doesn't matter what the 3D reality, it doesn't matter what the matrix shows you and you think that you're getting. You're always creating and matching who you're being. Who you're being is everything.

Speaker 1: 9:17

So, in those situations, this is where, rather than looking for the material solution for the problem that I have, what I want to do is calibrate myself to the frequency of what I want and to the frequency of excellence, because when we seek from a place of fullness and completeness and already being the thing that we want, rather than from a place of absence, we're more likely to get and create an amplification of what we want. And so I call this being internally defined rather than externally defined right. So this is the difference between oh, I'm in lack, let me look for the abundance outside of myself, or I feel powerless. Let me look for the power in some situation outside of myself, rather than recalibrating to what are the parts of me that are fragmented and keeping me from feeling powerful. What are the parts of me that are fragmented that are keeping me from feeling abundant? Because those are the parts that are actually existing in a lower frequency. That's what low frequency is Low frequency is separation, consciousness.

Speaker 1: 10:26

Low frequency equals separation. High frequency equals unity. That's why all of the high frequency emotions are love and truth and joy and authenticity, because that's unity. That's inner unity and outer unity. Love is unity between people. Authenticity is unity within yourself. Separation is low frequency. That's why the low frequency emotions are guilt and shame that's separation within yourself. And hate and disgust. Those are separation between people. Low frequency separation. High frequency unity.

Speaker 1: 11:07

And so, as we move into the higher frequency expression of ourselves and we don't do this by getting into high vibe, we do this by healing and deeply integrating all of the parts and all of the aspects of ourselves and by practicing these higher frequency emotions and choices in the situations that show up in our life, so that we're not just coding this into ourselves personally, but we're actually coding these higher frequency emotions and experiences into the field. This is what moves us into a higher frequency state of being and makes us the energetic match for a higher frequency expression, which is going to be more unity, more success, more abundance, more allowing, more ease, more joy all the things that we want. And so recognizing that when I am in overflow, I'm more likely to create experiences and find experiences and experience things that bring more overflow into my life. And the key here is that overflow is subjective. I'm in as much overflow as I allow myself to experience. Right, I can experience the number let's say money is an example. The number, the amount of money has nothing to do with my ability to experience it as overflow, because we see this all the time where we feel like, well, when I have this thing, then I'll be in overflow and then we get that thing and we're not in overflow because it has nothing to do with the subjective experience. It has to do with the way that we allow ourselves to experience it.

Speaker 1: 12:43

And so the version of you that, as in your power, that is, in your I am a CEO, I am the director of my own life, I am the CEO of my business will approach hiring people from a very different frequency than the person who, than the version of us that's not in our power and is looking to hire someone to save us from having to do something that we don't know how to do or don't know what to do, and so we can look at all of these things and these skills of like well, the way that you interview and the way that you this and the way that you that, and all of that's great, but all of that is a surface level of manifestation of what's going on underneath. And what's going on underneath is that you, in a place of power where you're the CEO of your life and the CEO of your business, will make very different hiring and relational decisions than the version of you that's not in that place of power. So hopefully this is making sense. Where I'm talking about this, the thing is not the thing, it's the frequency that we create it from. And then, whatever we engage with, we're either creating entanglement or we're not, and we don't want to be creating entanglement with the things that we don't want because it slows us down, and there's a relationship of excellence.

Speaker 1: 14:02

So the example that I have is my. I haven't been getting my hair cut right now because I'm in this place. I'm in Nanaimo, in Vancouver Island, and it's been this beautiful season where I've been reconnecting with nature and having some amazing experiences in a lot of healing ways, and I recognize that this is not a place that attracts a lot of excellence. I have had a really difficult time finding a really good barber here, and every time I've gotten my haircut here. It's just been the worst, and a lot of people will look at that and be like you're so silly or so whatever.

Speaker 1: 14:32

But this is something that's important right Details. There's a reason that in luxury, in high-level things, there's a high level of detail, there's a high level of care, there's a high level of quality, there's a high level of aesthetic right. You don't walk into a beautiful luxury store or a beautiful luxury hotel and have it look like a Walmart. There's a reason for that, and people that are at that frequency of excellence understand that. That's why there's a refinement in so many things. That's part of excellence.

Speaker 1: 15:04

And so I normally see a celebrity barber and what that means is he just is basically someone that has trained with all these celebrity. He's trained with the best of the best of barbers all around the world and he's worked with celebrities as well. And every time I get my hair cut by this celebrity barber, I look like a celebrity, I look like a million bucks every time I walk out, and people will often comment on it. But it's not really about other people, it's about me. I see it and I'm like oh, this is a reflection of the inner expression of who I am, and when I find people who aren't at that level of excellence, I just can't get that same result.

Speaker 1: 15:43

I had one person where I went through all the details of this is exactly how I want my haircut, and she nailed it the first time and then I went back the second time and I reminded her. I even showed her the pictures again and then she just butchered it and it just looked like this basic crew cut. I look like I'm about to go to I don't know to just some, I don't know where, but it's not my look and it's not what I'm going for. There's no shade to that, it's just that's not me and that's not what I'm going for. And now it's interesting because this barber also lives in a place now that's probably a little bit smaller than where he should live and he's also not as connected to a lot of excellence as he should be, and so he kind of forgets and I always remind him when I go in there about how good he is, because excellence sees excellence Whereas I look at whose hair he's cutting and a lot of the times he's cutting people's hair, they don't have the appreciation for the level of detail that I have, and so this is a really key thing, because excellence sees excellence.

Speaker 1: 16:41

So when we're of that frequency, we recognize that frequency. When we value detail and quality and consistency, we see value and quality and consistency. When we're not of that awareness, it's invisible to us. I often will see this when people sometimes people get into this pattern, particularly if they've been in a relationship that they left feeling a little bit less than and will go into the dating pool and they'll maybe actually drop their standards a little bit because they're not feeling the best about themselves, and then they'll go on dates with people that really are just not at the level of this person and they'll sort of get rejected by that person and there can be this downward spiral of like wow, if this person's rejecting me, then maybe my whole image of myself is completely off.

Speaker 1: 17:31

But it's not because excellence sees excellence. We have to be on a similar frequency. We have to value certain things in order to see each other. So it's not because excellence sees excellence. We have to be on a similar frequency. We have to value certain things in order to see each other. So it's not that you're not intrinsically as valuable as you think you are. It's just that other people who don't value those things won't see the value in that. It's very important to understand right. It's like the more rare and the more unique we are, the more it is that we might not be valued by people who aren't rare and unique, who don't see those rare and unique qualities. So it's really, really important to see this, because when we're high performers and we've achieved a certain level of excellence in our life, we see and we value that, but we can become blinded to what the next level of excellence is. And so what I find is that a lot of my clients who are high performers and have achieved a very high level of excellence in their life and are aware that they're ready for another level of growth and expansion, they've kind of gotten as far as they can go with only focusing on the one area.

Speaker 1: 18:36

So a lot of what I see is people that have achieved a level of excellence in their career but are avoiding dealing with things in their personal life. Let's say so. It's like career is killing it, business is killing it. They've got the accolades, they've got money, they've got success, but then when it comes to their personal life and their relationships, they're just like I keep having this situation that repeats. I keep having these partners that just aren't the person. Or I just keep getting into these friendships that don't go well and they're kind of putting that as a backseat. They're like, well, that's not as important as my career, so that kind of goes on the back burner. But this is the very thing, this thing that we've been hiding from and this thing that we've been avoiding. That's the key to calibrate to the next level of excellence.

Speaker 1: 19:24

The next level of excellence isn't career only, it's not surface things only. It's not only about what you can do or what you can present in your work. It's about who you are and that next level person that you want to be a match for. Because much of our success comes through people in relationship with people. Right, that's why relationships are so important in business. That person sees the discrepancy, even if they wouldn't look at you and say, well, the reason I'm not going to bring you into my circle is because of your relationship. They probably don't even have that conscious awareness. It's simply a frequency thing. They just don't feel that energetic match with you because you're not there, because you're like the barbers that just don't embody that level of quality and detail. It's like good enough to do a haircut but not good enough to be a celebrity barber, right? And so it's.

Speaker 1: 20:21

The same thing happens in our lives is that very often, when we're high performers and high achievers, we've hit this level of excellence and we've had to make sacrifice. Because that's kind of stage one, right? If you think about climbing Maslow's hierarchy of needs, we're going through the stages. In stage one it's about survival and accumulation of resources, and then we start to get into career and purpose and doing things and finding our gifts and then being paid for it. But the last phase is self-actualization. Self-actualization isn't fragmented. Remember the spectrum of frequency Low frequency is separation, high frequency is unity.

Speaker 1: 21:00

So in order to move into self-actualization, we have to come into a higher frequency expression of ourselves. That means into more integration. And so if we're not having good personal relationships or whatever the thing is, or maybe we kill it at all this stuff, but then at night we have to drink, like the only way we can regulate our nervous system is to drink. Or maybe we're addicted to something or we have some vice, whatever it is, those are all reflections of fragmentation, that is some unhealed, unintegrated part, no matter how much we want to justify it, and this is something that's important to as well. Part, no matter how much we want to justify it and this is something that's important to as well this is going to be actually one of your number one things is to start spotting your own justification stories, and so we do this thing where our mind is always trying to justify the experience that we're having. So maybe we feel a certain way and then we respond a certain way. Then our mind wants to understand why. So it spins a story to justify how we felt and what we did. And when we get to a higher level of consciousness, a higher level of self-mastery, we start to recognize this process of the mind and we are able to be with the experience itself and we don't spin the justification stories. But that doesn't mean that your whole life you haven't been spinning justification stories and they're actually called.

Speaker 1: 22:25

The more clinical term is backwards rationalizations. We backwards rationalize our feelings and our behaviors, and the easiest place that you can see this demonstrated in life experience is if you've ever watched people go through a breakup and their loving partners and this person's the best person in the world and then they break up and now, all of a sudden, people will kind of go through this thing where now they don't feel this love for the other person. Maybe now they're feeling some animosity towards them. People will go through and selectively rewrite the timeline of the entire relationship. We've all watched someone do this. That's a backwards rationalization, and the thing is it's not the full truth. It's not true that that person was always a monster. It's not true that that person was always doing this thing and doing that thing. It's true that there were great times. So these backwards rationalizations aren't actually helpful and they become our backwards rationalizations, become our justification stories, and so this is the thing.

Speaker 1: 23:20

Where it gets really tricky with people of excellence and high performers is that the justification stories have been repeated for a long, long time, and so they've become embedded into who you are and they're virtually invisible, without either a lot of self-awareness or without hiring someone like me or being in one of my spaces to have those justification stories picked out right. This is a lot of what mentorship at this level is is going. Oh, this isn't actually the truth. This thing that I've accepted my whole life is a justification story and it's a piece that's keeping me in fragmentation and where this gets even slipperier is that we trade justification stories with other people in the name of growth, right, so you can think of we're on it with the examples today.

Speaker 1: 24:11

You can think of someone that gets out of a relationship and goes well, all men are assholes, or all women are this and just paints the entire dating pool with the lens of their experience and they find someone else who is in that frequency of bitterness and they go oh yeah, guys do this and guys do that, or women do this and women do that. And now you're trading this justification story. It keeps you stuck at the same level of consciousness and the same frequency, and this is again a low frequency, extreme example, but this exists at a higher frequency as well, and this is something that was a hard lesson for me to learn is that everyone's human, everyone that's in a human incarnation right now is having a human experience, which means at some level, they're imperfect, and so we might find mentors and we might find teachers that we look up to and we put on a pedestal and we think are so incredible justification stories, and those justification stories will work their way into their teachings, and so if we don't understand how to spot justification stories. We often find mentors that have the same wounds as us, and then we think that we're getting the teachings, but what we're actually getting is their justification stories, because they've figured out how to sort of work around this wound, and we have the same wound and so it's. Let's say, let's just stay with the interpersonal example. Let's say that this person has a wound that stops them from being fully vulnerable in interpersonal relationships. Well, they will have a justification story around that and it have a similar wound. It will very, very likely seem like this great idea, this like enlightening concept, but what it actually is is a justification for you to stay the same, and we often have this experience of going oh yeah, I have always been like that, I have always been this way, and this person sees me and this person's like me too, and they have this experience. Oh, that's what it is. It's not that I have a fear and a block around vulnerability and intimacy. It's just that I'm so unique and other people don't understand it. But that's not the truth. That's just passing on a justification story, and so this is where we've got to be very discerning about what it is that we're letting in and what it is that we're calibrating to.

Speaker 1: 26:47

I had this experience with money. I definitely had money blocks and a money wound and I found a mentor and probably multiple mentors that I thought were going to help me with that but actually had their own money wounds and actually just passed on their justification stories which made my money stuff worse Because I had worked through a lot of the overspending and just kind of like overzealous parts of that. And then I found these people that were like no, it's all about the frequency of wealth and you spend and you put your things and I will take responsibility. I also heard that through the perspective of who I was, so some of that was also me, but it became this justification for this behavior that actually wasn't supportive and I had to go through this whole additional cycle of understanding that and being able to integrate what was beneath that so that I could work through this stuff. And I mean the immature relationship in manifestation and spirituality around money is a whole other conversation and I'm going to make a bunch of content around that.

Speaker 1: 27:51

But this is just an example of when we're buying into justification stories rather than we're buying into highest truth and some things that I find really valuable about tracking truth is the truth is simple, and the truth usually doesn't change a lot. So when we hear when someone has to go into a very elaborate, or when we have to go into a very elaborate story about why something is, that's probably not the truth, right? So when we have to go into this elaborate story about how all these ex-partners deceived us and how guys are this certain way, or women are this certain way, or people are this certain way, and it just keeps happening and you just can't find a good person out there, and yeah, I don't know how that's justification. That's justification. The truth is that I dropped my standards, or I am letting myself be matched from a wound. It's very simple and it's very consistent, and that's the thing too is, a lot of the times, it's like people will keep telling the story of how this keeps happening. Well, whenever something keeps happening, we are the common denominator, right?

Speaker 1: 29:04

And we see this in relationships all the time. I use relationships as the example to teach about other things, because they're often the easiest place to see where we repeat patterns, right, and so we see this. I see this in relationships all the time. I think it's easy to see where people have a certain kind of relationship that falls into a certain kind of dynamic and ends in a certain kind of breakup, and they make it all about the other person. And then they leave and they find a new person and that person's so great and within a year or two years they're in the same kind of relationship and the same kind of dynamic and then they have the same kind of breakup. That's a frequency thing. The truth is that they're. The problem, it's how they're participating in that relationship and, more importantly, who they're being, who they're being, who we're being the frequency that we're calibrated to is creating the thing. And so if we don't understand frequency and we don't understand energy, no matter where we look in the material world, no matter what surface level tools that we evolve, we will just keep creating the same patterns.

Speaker 1: 30:08

And so if you're a person of excellence and you're a high performer, I really encourage you to look at where are you justifying bad behavior in your own life and the part of you that goes well? That doesn't have anything to do with my career. That's the problem. It does. It's all energy. So you've been able to get this far with the belief that that doesn't have anything to do with my career. But you can't get to the next level with that because it requires a higher level of integration, a higher level of unity within you to experience a higher level of unity in your experience, experience a higher level of unity in your experience. So I really encourage you to pick through your own justification stories.

Speaker 1: 30:52

This is a lot of what I teach. I teach the skills to do this in my membership, the Essence, and I really deepen this with my clients inside my mastermind, lux Familia. So if that calls to you, then I invite you to come and dance with us, because this work is what my whole life is about and it's so fun and it's so beautiful and it's so fulfilling. And once you understand from this perspective of frequency and energy, it really, really changes your experience of life and you can just you can do so much in such a short amount of time. So thank you for joining me today. Let me know in the comments or leave a review if you enjoyed this episode, if you got a lot out of it. I would love to hear what stood out to you. So thank you for joining me today. I am sending you so much love and bye for now.